Going to the hardest and darkest...to shine the light of Christ

Friday, April 13, 2012

Tears-joyful adoration

This is an entry from my journal I thought I would share:

Tears. Tears are the fast ramp to the soul. Tears are an outward emotion of pain, hurt, anger, and frustration but they can also be an expression of joyful adoration, laughter, thanksgiving, worship, love, and happiness. When one has experienced a small portion of the fullness of God and tasted of his infinite pleasure, thanksgiving and tears are only a natural response. Not only is this the only age in which you can worship God in the night season (Rev. 21:25-There will be no night there), but it is also the only age you can worship God with your tears. It says in Rev. 21:4 that he will wipe away the tears from their eyes and there will be no more crying when heaven comes to earth. We can only serve him in loving adoration in this life with our tears. This past week being Good Friday and Easter, I have found my own heart to be tender soil. I cry when I just think about Jesus and his goodness. And if you know me, I don’t cry. Ever. So this is a new thing in my life. I can’t help but be suspicious that it is part of praying in tongues on a regular basis, one of our assignments for Corey's class, that is tenderizing my heart. I have cried and wept for Jesus’ return. I have cried myself to sleep several nights longing for Jesus to return. The phrase on my heart and that has consuming my mind is I MISS JESUS. I just want him back. I want him to rule on the earth NOW. Life would truly be better if he was here. There’s nothing on earth worth my clinging too. No job opportunity, no marriage, no grand kids, no life pleasures….nothing is worth postponing his return for a few 20 more years. I want him now. I just want Jesus to come back. I just want to be with him. I miss him. I love him. I want others to be infected with this “I miss Jesus” so that we will all say, “Come, Lord Jesus” and he can return. I miss Jesus! This is part of who I am as a missionary: to infect others with missing Jesus and long for his return. I want Jesus to return quickly! Come, Lord Jesus!!!

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