This is an entry from my journal I thought I would share:
Tears.
Tears are the fast ramp to the soul. Tears are an outward emotion of
pain, hurt, anger, and frustration but they can also be an expression of
joyful adoration, laughter, thanksgiving, worship, love, and happiness.
When one has experienced a small portion of the fullness of God and
tasted of his infinite pleasure, thanksgiving and tears are only a
natural response. Not only is this
the only age in which you can worship God in the night season (Rev.
21:25-There will be no night there), but it is also the
only age you can worship God with your tears. It says in Rev. 21:4 that
he will wipe away the tears from their eyes and there will be no more
crying when heaven comes to earth. We can only serve him in loving
adoration in this life with our tears. This past week being Good Friday
and
Easter, I
have found my own heart to be tender soil. I cry when I just think about
Jesus
and his goodness. And if you know me, I don’t cry. Ever. So this is a
new thing
in my life. I can’t help but be suspicious that it is part of praying in
tongues on a regular basis, one of our assignments for Corey's class,
that is tenderizing my heart. I have cried and wept
for Jesus’ return. I have cried myself to sleep several nights longing
for Jesus to return. The phrase on my heart and that has consuming my
mind is I MISS
JESUS. I just want him back. I want him to rule on the earth NOW. Life would
truly be better if he was here. There’s nothing on earth worth my clinging too. No job
opportunity, no marriage, no grand kids, no life pleasures….nothing is worth
postponing his return for a few 20 more years. I want him now. I just want
Jesus to come back. I just want to be with him. I miss him. I love him. I want
others to be infected with this “I miss Jesus” so that we will all say, “Come,
Lord Jesus” and he can return. I miss Jesus! This is part of who I am as a
missionary: to infect others with missing Jesus and long for his return. I want Jesus to return
quickly! Come, Lord Jesus!!!
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