Weakness: the vessel to transformation

School has started again! That means early morning prayer room. =) Really good to be back....really hard to wake up. =) This morning in the prayer room I was meditating on a couple of different verses and phrases and thought I would share my thoughts here.

One phrase that I have been meditating on is from a devotional book called Jesus is Calling. The phrase was, "My weakness and woundedness are the opening through which the light of the knowledge of His Glory shines forth." It was a really moving phrase that stuck out to me so I decided to look up the verses that I knew supported this verse.

First I looked up the 'light of his Glory' part. Isaiah 60:1 says, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you." And then also 2 Cor. 3:18, "And we with unveiled faces all reflect the Lords glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." As we reflect/think about God we are transformed into his likeness.

So then I decided to look up the weakness part. I knew about 2 Cor. 12:9 so I looked it up. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." One of my favorite verses!!! Typically I follow it up with Phil. 1:6, "being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." LOVE that verse!!! God is faithful and trustworthy!

But anyway, back on topic, I plugged those verses back into the phrase. What I found was that my weakness and woundedness are vessels for transformation. Transformation to become more like him. To show his power. My brokenness is the key to ever-increasing glory. Praise God! I'm really good at being broken! =)

All the while during my meditations, Jon Thurlow was leading worship. (It was a really good set!!! At the bottom is the link. If it didn't work, it was the 8am set on 1/24/12 around the 45min to 1hr and 40min mark) Some of the phrases he kept singing were matching up exactly to what I was meditating....except he was singing from Psalm 16. I love it when that happens! Here are some of the moving choruses he sang:

-There's something beautiful, there's something holy going on. (transforming power of mercy)
-Suddenly it puts everything into perspective, when I gaze upon the one who is Holy (transforming into his likeness)
-You're so big and I'm so small and it's so good to let you hold me (God has the power to transform)
-I have never seen another one as beautiful (beholding unto transformation)
-All of the weights, they begin to lift off my shoulders when I gaze on the one who is Holy (freedom found in beholding)
-Come up higher, child. I'm waiting for you (invitation to gazing/fascination-arise and shine)
-I lift up my eyes, I lift up my eyes to You
-If there's one thing I've learned, It's that I cannot keep myself. If there's one thing I know, I need you Lord
-I have no good apart from you. Preserve me, oh God (my weaknesses)
-Preserve me, oh God, In you I trust
-I need you like the desert needs the rain. I need you like the ocean needs the rivers. I need you like the morning needs the sun. I need you Lord, You are my only One-I take up the yoke, I know that it's so easy. I take up your burden, it's light.
-I'm holding on to your divine love, I'm holding on and I'm not letting go. It's not my zeal, it's that your love is strong. It's not my strength, it's that you're faithful! 
-When I am weak, that's when you are strong. When I let go, I'll fall into your arms (his power made perfect in our weakness)
-I look into your eyes of mercy. I remember that your heart is for me.
 

So yeah.....this morning prayer room was really good!!!! =) Weakness is the key to transformation.


http://mediasuite.multicastmedia.com/player.php?v=zg318g5t&video_uuid=zg318g5t

I will wait

Super cool poem I found:

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me..

So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him

Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF

So... why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…

Claiming we were “just friends”..

It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!

I was gonna make him ‘The One’..

You know… I was tired of being alone,

And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride,

Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride..

A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!

Who was tired of the wait!

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much..

But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me

Arties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He sawed,

Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

TO transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,

Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,

How much I NEED to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..

Cause in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –

Which meant NOTHING.

He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd!

So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…

But I know You.. ♥

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.

You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name LUKE,

His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

Attempting to find some closeness,

But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!

NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’

Passing winks & buying drinks,

I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!

Who flirts with the ideology of,

‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.

I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you

He won’t even come close,

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,

From so-called friends & family talks,

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the Author of Time.

Who is NOT subject to time,

But I’M subject to Him,

He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,

You would be Abraham & I would be Sara

Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer

I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,

Made up of your rib Adam!

And once we meet, like electrons

I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.

We were all created in His image,

But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,

You would have to look like a star,

A son of the Son..

I would gain energy simply from the light on me.

I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of singleness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest story ever known

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

Unrelenting Prayer

So sorry I haven't blogged in forever. Life has been moving so fast! Can't believe it's almost October of 2011. Crazy. I've been reading Unrelenting Prayer by Bob Sorge for school and it was so good that I thought I would quote it here. =)

God bears long with His beloved elect because He has strategic purposes in the wait. We must become convinced that God has redemptive purposes in waiting to avenge us against our adversaries. He waits to show his wrath and his glory, to accelerate our learning, to shape and deepen our faith, and to produce patience in us among others.
He uses the waiting season to accelerate your learning curve. When God wants to put you on the fast track, He brings everything in your life to a grinding halt. Everything stops and all you can do is wait on him. To do the quickest work in you, God waits. He puts you in His crucible, sticks you into the fire, turns the flame on high, and then says, "Wait on me." There, in that place of intense heat and pressure, He will change you fare more effectively than if there were no fire. Through the crucible, God can do a deeper and more comprehensive work within you in 3 years than in 15 years with no pressure.
Waiting has a way of changing everything about you. I said to the Lord, "Okay, Lord, if You're so intent on changing me, go ahead and deal with the matter at hand. I realize You want to touch my pride. So lets stay on task and deal with my pride." I could imagine him responding, "Yes, Bob, I'm going to deal with your pride. But I'm also going to visit a host of other issues in your soul at the same time." When God has us waiting on Him, he messes with every compartment in our being. He leaves no stone unturned. He starts at A and doesn't give up until He's made it all the way to Z.
But I complained, "Lord, this doesn't have anything to do with A or Z. You're dealing with P right now. you're after my pride. Deal with P, and then let's move on to Kingdom exploits." He came right back, "Oh yes, we'll take care of P, all right. But while we've got you here, let's go ahead and hit everything else while we're at it." He uses the crucible to change everything about you, so that you might be conformed to the image of Christ. And how does he accomplish this? Simply by bearing long with you.
God doesn't seem to be quite in the rush that we are. He has taken an eternity to get to this point, and He knows He has an eternity ahead of Him. So if He takes, as in the case of Abraham, 25 years to birth your destiny, then what's the big deal? When you look at how God wrote the stories of His greatest saints-like Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Hannah, Naomi, David, Jeremiah, and many others-one of the common denominators of their lives is how God took many years to craft and complete the story of their lives.
On one occasion, when I was keenly feeling both the duration and the pain of the wait, I asked the Lord to hurry up and finish His work in my life. That's when I heard, "I call fast boring." God is a good Author, and He likes a good plot. He's into dramatic flair, story lines with mounting tension, and climactic conclusions. He wants to build some suspense into your story, together with some intrigue, and a good splash of romance. By the time He's finished writing the story of your life, Joseph won't be the only one with a tale to tell. You'll also be able to say, "Let me tell you about the time....."
God doesn't measure the journey in days or weeks or months. He shapes the broad strokes of your life with a brush called "years". So when it seems that God is taking years to complete His work in your life, don't be alarmed or thrown off balance. Stay in the place of persevering prayer, and pace yourself for a lifetime of adventure with God.

Isn't that good? =) God is so good to us! He waits on us because He wants to make us more like him and knows we can't handle the answer if he gives it to us when we want it. God is so faithful to our hearts!!!!

New Blog Page

I don't know how many of you know, but I am planning on going to China on a mission trip this summer and have created a blog to post updates about my trip. You can follow it at http://summerinchina2011.blogspot.com.

Have a blessed day!!!!

Ashton =)

College Graduation!!!!!!!!!!!

Well........I have some pretty exciting news for you! March 23rd, 2011 is a very special day. =) Today I took my Introduction to Educational Psychology CLEP test and passed. This moved my credits up to 120 which means.......

I'M A COLLEGE GRAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!

I now have a Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies. =) I won't actually graduate until June but I've done all the work, so for me it counts as graduation! =) I'm so excited I'm about ready to burst! My parents and Mallory met me afterword and took me to eat Chipotle! =) It's still very hard for my brain to comprehend that I don't have any more school! As for the rest of my year I have lots of things to keep me busy! I am currently working on our dance performance we are doing in June called Firstborn from the Dead and Sleeping Beauty. =) So that takes lots of time. I get to start playing piano again as well as do Calculus I and II for fun! I miss math so much, so I am going to do those and then I'll probably be done. =) I am also preparing to go to China this summer! I'm still working out all the little details but so far it looks like I'll be going for about a month. So I am starting to learn Mandarin Chinese. =) And then in August, I'm going to start my second degree. I will be attending IHOP's Bible school, IHOPU, and getting a four year degree in Biblical Studies. =)
Another exciting thing is I'm getting a facebook! I don't have time to set it up today, but I'll probably have one by this weekend......so look me up! =)

Hope ya'll have a fabulous day!

Love,
Ashton =)

Praying for Japan

Most of you know of the current status in Japan from the earthquake that happened a little under two weeks ago. Just wanted to post some prayer updates:

>Dacia Bostrom (the student from Japan living here with the Kawase family) went back a week ago to visit her family for a month. While she is there they are planning on visiting Sendai, the epicenter, and providing hot meals and the good news of Jesus Christ! =) Pray that they will be safe from everything including the radiation!
>Mr. and Mrs. Kawase left this morning for Japan. Mr. Kawase was cleared as a Doctor to be able to go into Sendai and minister to the people there for 10 days. Mrs. Kawase will be assisting him as well as helping with the Bostrom family. Pray that they will have traveling mercies, especially since they are traveling with lots of medical supplies. Also pray they will be safe from radiation since they will be driving past the nuclear plants.
>Pray for Grandma Kawase as she was alive during the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It is really hard for her seeing her son willingly put himself near the radiation in order to help other people.
>That God's purposes will come forth in Japan through this crisis. God causes all things to work together for his glory! Pray for the hearts of the Japanese people that they would turn to Christ as the only savior to help them through this massive crisis

Thank you all for praying! My heart hurts for our Japanese brothers and sisters. But God holds all things in his hands!

Much love,
Ashton =)

All About Your Gaze

 

Eyes never cease to amaze me. I love looking at people's eyes. Ever heard that phrase, "The eyes are the window to the soul"? Well, it's very true.....at least for me. I can tell a million things about a person just by looking at their eyes or a photo of their eyes. I can read how they are doing in an instant. Whether its been a rough day, if they are excited, tired, genuinely telling you the truth how they are doing, whether they have something on their mind, their personality, something exciting just happened to them.......anything and everything is expressed through the eyes. =) Eyes have an indescribable depth. Some are cloudy, some are clear, some are vibrant, some have a soft warm feel.....they are all mystifying.


I was thinking about the different color of eyes. Green, blue, grey, brown, chocolate swirl color, yellow, hazel, mixtures.......all different, incredibly unique designs by God. What color do you think Jesus' eyes were? Knowing He was from Jewish descent, I've often pondered if they were brown or had a color swirl in them. The Bible tells us what they look like. Revelation 1:14 says His eyes are like flames of fire. What does this mean? Do they look yellow/orange/bronze-ish or are they constantly moving and changing like a fire is? I'm not sure of the answer but I do know His gaze is probably intense! 

And God obviously cares about our eyes because He put so much detail into creating them, making them one of our 5 senses, and talking a lot about how to guard our eyes. So what do you think? Why is it that God made our eyes to show how we are doing and to be the window of our souls? What is it about eyes that God has so highly valued them? It says in Psalms that we were created to gaze on beauty. Our job for eternity is to gaze at God in his indescribable holiness. The seraphim were created with eyes all around to gaze at God. As were the four living creatures around the throne who never cease to cry out "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. Who was and is and is to come." since they were created. That is their job description.....how awesome is that? =) Eyes are so small, yet so important!


So my question to you.....what do your eyes say about who you are? What are your eyes fixed on?